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Saturday, January 06, 2018

How You Know You're A Princess(Faerie,Vampire,Mermaid, Demon,etc.)

Found among my files from my old iPad, while transferring to the new one. I had been reading a lot of the more popular girls’ YA paranormal romances at the time I wrote this. You might spot one or more in the list below.

You know you’re a paranormal princess when...

*There’s a Prophecy and you’re the Chosen One. You have this family heirloom, see, and someone mysterious has interpreted the runes on it.

* Your Dad is missing and your Mum has been keeping something from you, e.g that he is/was the king of some otherworldly realm.

* The cute new boy at your school tells you he has come to warn you that you're in terrible danger now you're about to turn sixteen when you get your full powers. (It’s always sixteen!) You don't believe him at first, but you do have these memories of weird stuff you did as a child...And he is really very cute. And definitely not human.

*Minions of the dark start following you, especially when you’re alone and the last bus has left. 

*You find yourself suddenly wearing a prom dress you don’t own and running across dark windswept landscapes, even if you live in the middle of the city. 

*You sprout wings/horns/a fish tail when you stress out. That is very helpful in scaring off unwanted boys.

* The cute new boy at school says you have to marry him or there will be a major war in the vampire/demon/undersea world. The only way to save all your subjects is to marry him(Did I mention you’re sixteen?)You say no, but...he is so very cute...

*If you're a mermaid princess, the cute boy tells you he's a selkie prince(turns into a seal)despite being Hawaiian(come on, guys, this is a creature from Scottish folklore!). And by the way, you have to marry him. Well, he is a terrific surfer ... and very cute. 

*If you're a vampire princess, the minions of the dark are after you. They are serving a big-busted vampire queen with red hair who wants you dead because you’re the Chosen One of the  Prophecy, destined to replace her. By the way, you run around windswept landscapes - er, see above. 

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