Lord Of The Rings Male Characters - Who would I Date?

 Today, I read this article.

 https://screenrant.com/lord-of-the-rings-male-characters-romantic-partner-potential-ranked/amp/

Basically, it’s about the romantic potential of each of the main characters in the Lord Of The Rings films. The author added Faramir, who wasn’t one of the Fellowship, but since Gandalf has no romantic possibilities, so will I. And I will write about the novel more than the films, which were faithful to the spirit of the book, but were still different. 

Anyway, here is my choice, a bit different from the article. See what you think. I rate them 10 to 1.

10. Gandalf doesn’t count, really, as he is basically an Angel, and whatever YA novels tell you, angels don’t tend to have romances. Also, even as a friend, while I’d be happy to go to the pub with him, it might be uncomfortable to hang out with someone who knows better than you and is always right! 

9. Legolas - very good looking and he has the virtue of being the only non smoker in the Fellowship, and thinking that smoking is dumb. I admit I would be pleased to trust him to protect me on a dangerous journey, but romance? Nah. He’s a couple of thousand years old at least. It would be like going out with your many times great grandfather, plus, like Gandalf, he would probably always be right. I’m not even sure he would be much fun to go to the pub with. 

8. Frodo - a kind, decent and terribly brave person. He has a good sense of humour, too, when with the other hobbits, and knows some great songs. However, he has a lot of troubles and a bad case of PTSD after his dreadful adventure. I’m not surprised he ends up going to the Undying Lands. I’d go with him to the pub, but not to the marriage celebrant! Like Bilbo, he is pretty much a confirmed bachelor, even before the Quest.

7. Boromir - a pity he gets tempted by the Ring, because really, he is a decent person and wants to save his homeland. He makes up for what he did by defending Merry and Pippin from the Orcs. Now, the dying book-Boromir doesn’t waffle about Captains and Kings. He just says, “I tried to take the Ring from Frodo. I am sorry. I have paid.” He is a good person, yes! And his younger brother loves him. But - no sense of humour. He is downright grim - and according to the Appendices in the book, the young Boromir was fanatical about the military history of Gondor. Would you want to date him? I wouldn’t. I’d be happy to have him for a bodyguard, even a friend, but probably not a boyfriend.

6, 5. Merry and Pippin: about even for me. The book versions are not the same as the film characters, who are mostly comic relief, with their “second breakfast” and “Where are we going?” Pippin is the curious one, who drops a stone down a hole in the Mines of Moria, where it could draw the attention of scary things, and, as if that isn’t enough, sneaks the Palantir, the seeing-stone, from Gandalf’s bag, to have a look. That does cause trouble, and Gandalf has to take him to Minas Tirith, the capital city of Gondor for safety. 

Merry goes to Rohan and pledges himself to its king. He ends up helping to kill the Witch King of Angmar, when he and warrior maiden Eowyn, neither of whom are supposed to be there, encounter him on the battlefield and save the day for the good guys.

I love both these boys and their cheerful good humour and songs. They are not dumb, despite the way they are presented in the film, and I would cheerfully date either of them. But there are others whom I’d rather have as boyfriends.

4. Gimli the Dwarf - a romantic at heart, and an artist. He managed to get three hairs out of Galadriel, that beautiful Elf queen, when she refused even one to a fellow elf whom she thought was creepy, way back in her earlier years. He wants to make something beautiful with those hairs, to encourage reconciliation between Elves and Dwarves, lost centuries ago. He worships her from afar, which clearly touches her. But he goes off with Legolas in the end - and I can’t help thinking that any woman in his life would have to put up with those two having fun challenging each other. Their friendship, touching in a novel or film, would get in the way of a relationship. And then they go off to the Undying Lands and that would be that for Gimli’s family! 

3. Aragorn is worth considering. He is smart and strong. He has a sense of humour. He is loyal to his friends and brave enough to risk everything to give Frodo his chance to reach the Cracks of Doom, the only place where the Ring can be destroyed. Above all, he is kind! Poor Aragorn feels really bad about Eowyn, who falls in love with him, when he can’t return it. He heaves a sigh of relief when she and Faramir become an item! If you could win his love, he’d be well worth taking. However... he is rather older than he looks - and he has been faithful to the same woman for most of his life. That is a virtue, but it means that the rest of us would have no chance to win him. Too bad.

2. If it was a question of which Fellowship member would make the best husband and father, it would definitely be Sam Gamgee. He is fanatically loyal, if you can win his love. He can cook. He can garden. He is a family man, and the last scene of the novel shows him returning home after seeing his Mr Frodo off to the Undying Lands, back to his wife and little daughter. Merry and Pippin are both members of the Hobbit aristocracy, but Sam is an ordinary person - mind you, in the Appendices we learn that he becomes Mayor of the Shire several times. His pretty daughter Elanor becomes a lady in waiting to Queen Arwen, and marries upwards. And he, too, travels to the Undying Lands at the end of his life in Middle-Earth, as a Ringbearer, which he was briefly when Frodo was out of the picture. But his temptation to turn all of Middle-Earth into one big garden is overcome by his common sense. Yes, definitely the best of the Fellowship for a relationship.

1. But as a human, I wouldn’t mind dating Boromir’s brother, Faramir, and not only because he resisted the Ring(in the book. In the film, he was briefly tempted). Faramir is a scholar. He does what he has to, fighting for his country, but really, he is a nerd who would rather be in a library than on the battlefield. He is deeply kind - and in the end, he marries a young woman who did want to be on the battlefield, because she has been raised to think that fighters were more important than others. She does change her mind, but he is willing to help her do whatever makes her happy, and respects her choices. I have always thought of him as the sort of guy who would remember your birthday, and who wouldn’t be offended, if you were out at dinner, if you got out your laptop to work. In fact, he’d bring his own, and you could have a pleasant evening together, working and chatting. 

So, that’s my order, from 10 to 1. What order would you choose?